Minnesota Muppet Mouth Tim Walz: A Critique

I know that it is wrong to attack someone's appearance before their policy but come on. Tim Walz looks like a Midwest sour cream Muppet. Walz looks like he waddles around saying "Wocka Wocka". Moving past his Jim Henson Creature Shop appearance, the man seems to lack a single drop of substance. Ignoring for the moment his horrible record on policy and equally horrible record in public/campaign statements, the man is white bread personified. Just like White bread, he's basic, usually kind sweet, maybe a little too sweet, but if you eat too much of it will kill you. Govenor Walz maxes out at salt when it comes to spice. Timmy boy has the personality of expired great value mayonnaise. Somehow though, this mayonnaise Muppet is able to be running for the second highest position in the land whilst skating by on his jazz hands, and gutter talk. Seriously. Gutter talk. He went on a podcast and spent half of it saying he stares at gutters, presumably staring at gutters instead of governing Minnesota. Govenor Walz's own brother doesn't trust him in office.

Let's talk policy, who knew it was possible to be ignorant of your own constituents whilst your neighborhood Gestapo spies on them for you. Instead of fighting crime and riots Walz decided to focus on changing the Minnesota state flag and putting tampons into the boy's restrooms in all Minnesota public schools. As a teacher he supported a Gay Club, because just like the tampons in boy's bathrooms he believes that sexual appetite belongs in schools (and he calls republicans weird). His biggest city was burnt to the ground, businesses were destroyed, people were injured and killed, and he did nothing... his wife did something though; she opened the windows to "smell the burning tires"(that's weird). Tim Walz's administration removed Minor Attracted Peoples (maps) from the groups that are not protected in his LGBTQAI+ policy, meaning that pedophiles are a potentially protected group in Minnesota... which is WEIRD. His record on energy is pushing for "renewable energy" which sounds good but his state, and the country are not prepared to support his wishes due to a lack of power in our grids, not to mention working class American's are often driving cars and trucks from the last 20 years, and he wants them to drive expensive new electric vehicles that get their batteries charged by burning fossil fuels. please make that make sense Tim. He loves to state how he's not in the pocket of corporations but supports policy that hurts the lively hood of working-class Americans and only benefits globalist corporations. If he stays in power with his history, we'll have neighbors calling the cops on each other for running a gas stove.

Now onto the Muppet man's rhetoric. where to start, military service, being the DNC's goofy uncle, school yard bully tactics, or Kamala's emotional support dog? Walz loves to speak about his military service and loves to embellish it... sorry I mean misspeak about it and use poor grammar. Several statements he made about his service had to be walked back and were excused as "misspeaking" despite some of them being written and later edited out of campaign websites. The damage control alone regarding his service is pretty fishy. To an unbiased eye it would seem like he might've intentionally led people to believe that he served in combat, went to Afghanistan and retired at a rank one higher than he actually did. To a conservative eye it definitely seems like he lied and mislead to boost his social/political image. Here are some facts, he retired from the military and was reduced in rank due to not completing course work, he later claimed to be a retired at the rank he was reduced from. Walz claimed to have carried weapons into war when talking about gun restriction that he is in favor of, despite never carrying weapons into combat, or anything into combat (he never saw combat). Now it should be said there is nothing wrong with not seeing combat and it is still honorable to serve the military in any capacity, but misleading voters about your record is hideously wrong. He talked about going to Afghanistan and seeing troops worried about their family's healthcare and pensions, and that he watched a military ceremony, but the issue with this is that it implied that he was in Afghanistan during his service (he wasn't). Tim Walz only went to Afghanistan as a congressman, but he never specified that. Later when he was challenged on his service record by JD Vance, he just deflected the question and later made more excuses. Moving onto his goofy uncle persona. The shadow of the Muppet man resembles a stereotypical dumb goofy uncle. Walz waddles out on stage waving with jazz hands and doing twirls, then gets to the mic and talks about food and "relatable" topics like gutters and food and other random things that have nothing to do with policy. A lack of rhetoric regarding policy decisions seems to be a theme in the Harris Walz campaign. HIs position in the Harris campaign seems to just be going on podcasts and shows and being a goof, he frankly comes off kind of dumb. His other roll is to be an emotional support dog for Harris in her one and only CNN interview that didn't exactly go very smoothly. He sat there nodding along being useless keeping kamala company while she struggled to answer questions in an interview that ended up being cut from 41 minutes to just 18 minutes. Walz isn't a great intellectual, but he is a successful gas lighter. Tim repeatedly calls Trump, Vance, and pretty much all republicans weird despite him being the definition of weird. The same guy who put tampons in boy's bathrooms calls republicans weird. He loves to lie about trumps position on IVF fertility treatment, claiming if trump had his way Walz's kids wouldn't have been born because they were conceived through IVF... and guess what... not only is Trump in favor of IVF and having it be mandated for insurance to cover it, or for the government to help pay for it, the kicker is that Walz lied about his kids being conceived through IVF. I'd say that's a weird thing to lie about.

In conclusion its convenient that the incredibly weird character that is Tricky Tim Walz looks so much like a Muppet because he is more than capable of being a puppet of globalist ideologies.

-Chuck Finley